bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
