franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
