oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
