I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
