We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
