Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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