That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
