JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
