Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
