Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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