You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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