help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
