Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
