God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How does one acquire holy water?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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