why didn't you poke me back
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
