I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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