butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
