he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just want nice things and good sex
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
