Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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