Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
