her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
