hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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