ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
