Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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