i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
should my penis look like a turkey
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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