will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
