operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I am available for nakedness
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
