i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i will never coherently bang her
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
