They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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