He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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