Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Two words: blizzard sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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