I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
