Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
