T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
