I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
