I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
