you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
