i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
