Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
