The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
