if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
