it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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