I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
