I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
