Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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