when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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