So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
