It was confusing and full of hummus
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
