We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
