what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
