It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize