I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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