im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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