remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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