honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
