Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
