yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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