erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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